List: Evidence that I Love You
“If you can only convince your children that you love them,
that your soul goes out to them for their good, that you are their truest
friend, they, in turn, will place confidence in you and will love you and seek
to do your bidding…But if you are selfish and unkindly to them, and if they are
not confident that they have your entire affection, they will be selfish and
will not care whether they please you or carry out your wishes or not.” Joseph
F. Smith
Children know whether you love them. They need to feel deep
down that they have your entire affection.
What’s more, they need evidence that you love them:
Ideas Families Have Tried:
1. Pray for your
child by name, specifically, in your family prayers. “Help Tyson to do well on his test.” “Please help Cara to be able to make up with
her friend.” “Please bless Josh to be
able to do his best on the mile run today.”
2. Drop
Everything. “You don’t seem to be
yourself today. What are you worried about?”
When your child needs your undivided attention, it’s not the time to
dovetail. Turn and face him. Get down to his level and empathize with his
current concern.
3. A good send-off
to bed. “Do you need to rock with me a
minute tonight?” Put your child to bed
with an extra couple of minutes of love, whether it be with a story, a song, a
hug, a race to get on jammies, or a teeth brushing party.
4. A good send-off
to school. “Remember who you are!” An extra cheery good-bye helps your child
face the day, armed with extra self-esteem.
A family motto or an extra blown kiss says tons.
Carlton was going to have to be at school by 5:45 am all
through the fall, for early football practice.
Camille couldn’t bear to have him miss family scripture reading every
morning. Rather than sing the hymn the
family sang at their devotional each morning, he would have locker room talk to
start his day!
Camille decided to come
up with a plan. When Carlton ate his
early breakfast, she read to him the verses the family had read the day before,
and gave him the commentary that he had missed.
Then, on the way to school, she had one of the three football players in
the carpool choose a favorite hymn. She
expected the three guys to sing it with her, even that early. And they did!
And she felt she had sent her son to school properly armored for the
day! Many times, in the years that
followed, Carlton remembered with gratitude her sacrifice to start his day
right. He recognized her sacrifice so
early for him and that she really cared.
It bonded a mom and her teenage boy together.
5. Sacrifice
something you want to do, to do for them.
“I can arrange to be there.” Seeing
you give up something for them means so much.
It speaks volumes that you really care.
6. Pick up an
unexpected item at the grocery store or dollar store. “This reminded me of you,” or “I guessed you might be out of these.” It tells our children we think about each of
them and want to bring them joy.
My dad once found a key chain with my name on it, and
bought it for me. My name is unusual,
and he wanted me to have it. My mom knew
how much I like to do crossword puzzles, so she got me a pocket crossword puzzle
book. These were small items purchased
many years ago, but I still remember them with fondness, since they were
unexpected and so thoughtful!
7. Play a game with them. “I’ll take you on!” A
board game. A game of catch. A game you loved when you were younger.
8. A treat in a
lunch or a dinner she likes. “Here’s
a little treat to enjoy while you are in the middle (or the end) of a tough
day.”
9. Some tender
advice. “I’ve been thinking about you
today, and I wonder if this might be an option to solve your problem.”
10. Some strong
boundaries. “I’m sorry if this is hard
for you, but our family policy is no dating until you are sixteen.”
11. Help with your
child’s chores. “I can see your having a packed morning. Let me help you get this
done.”
12. Pray to be able
to truly love them. “I want to be able
to love this difficult child. Please, Lord, give me love for him.” Your child
can sense whether your love is genuine.
Get help from Above to be blessed with love for the child that is hard
to love or is going through a hard and exasperating season.
At the end of the day—or at the end of their childhood—we want
our child to look back and say, “My mom and dad really loved me. I know because they…”
How do you convince your child
you love him or her? Share it with us by commenting below. (Include your email address if you would like a response.)
Labels: List: Evidence that I Love You
