Who Am I Really? 5 Special Books to help me Figure It Out

Children, Young Adults, and All of Us need to figure out Who We Really Are.  What makes me?  What are my gifts and talents?  Why am I on this earth and what am I going to accomplish?  Five Books can help with this journey.

Book #1:  A “Me” Book.

The Need for a Book.  I discovered that when each of my children were about 3 years old, he (or she) had a need to figure out, in their baby way, just what he was all about.  He would start to ask questions about being in Mommy’s tummy.  He loved the reassurance that Daddy and Mommy were anxious for him to be born and to come be a part of our family.  We wanted him, and we love him.  A wonderful tool to give them this reassurance and to help them form a healthy self-concept is a Special Book.  I am calling it a "Me" Book.

Now, I had a lot of little ones really close in age, and at one point the thought of making a fancy book for each of them literally blew my mind.  I just could not go there, for several years!  But I could write down cute things they said in my calendar on the wall!  So I did that! Much later, when kids started to leave home, I put down fun things the younger kids said or did in a family newsletter. In between those two times, I was able to start a very simple book for each child.

I discovered the beauty of a 3-ring notebook and plastic sleeves.  When I had an extra photo or a paper a child had drawn, I could slip it into a plastic sleeve in a binder and not worry too much about chronological order!  I could do one page here or there, and just use what I found to include.  A couple of times, during a Spring Break, I had the kids taken care of, and I got to go to work with Mark!  I set up in his office, and while he was out on the processing floor, I spent some uninterrupted time transferring those cute sayings and the parts about that child from my newsletter into those binders.  Before long, my children each had a Book!  How delighted each was to have his very own book about Me!

At one point, I photocopied a picture I had of both of their Grandparents, and then all four of their Great-Grandparents.  I added these to the very beginning to start the book.  Next came a wedding picture of Mark and I.  Having written down my feelings when I was expecting that child, I put those in next, and several baby pictures.  From there, I put in what drawings or school projects I could find, and included fun things I remembered.  Family pictures showing our growing family are  found here and there throughout.

How precious to each child was her book!  I kept it up high so that it would stay together and stay special (with no crayon marks)!  Periodically, she’d ask for it and have me sit down and go through it with her.  It was a great chance to tell her how happy we were for her to come, and how special she is to us.

I am Unique!  The Joy School Organization includes a section where preschool children are taught that they are unique.  Each child makes his own “About Me” book that includes one or two pages they make at each preschool for about a month:  a favorite color page; a favorite food page; a family page; a hand print; a foot print; a self-portrait, etc.  Each Joy School child’s book is unique, just as each child is unique.  See Eyre, Richard and Linda.  Teaching Children Joy.

Am I Yours? One of Darci’s sons looks different from her others, enough that people would comment about it.  At one point, he guessed that he must have been adopted!  It was good for Darci to get out his book, as well as family albums, and reassure him that he really did grow in her tummy and that Darci and Dan were so glad when he came!  The pictures and words all helped him gain the security.

Tilda is adopted.  And her parents knew that she would need some extra assurance of her place in thier family.  They used picture books and the recorded words to tell her how sweet was the experience of welcoming her into their home and forming her special place in their hearts.  Adopted children usually need additional reassurance, and so several different ways of showing Tilda she was loved and valued were especially good.  A “Me” book served to show her that no matter her biological parents, she still had her own adoptive parents and grandparents and great-grandparents that are really, truly her family.  She has her own special gifts to develop and contribute to the family and to the world.  Pictures of her as a baby with Mom and Dad or having fun with the family, placed where she could see them daily were another tool for her healthy developing self-concept. 

My own youngest boys are now ages 9, 13, and 15.   They still love to get out their Me books about once a year.  They laugh and compare the silly things each one said or did.  They look over the baby pictures and see what resemblance they have to their grandparents or to the new nieces and nephews that have arrived.  The family solidarity continues and new generations  of beloved, unique and wonderful people carry on, each with something important that is just his or hers to add.

The next set

I am learning how to be a Grandma, and as I have pondered what to give my precious little grandchildren for their birthdays, I have settled on books.  But when they are about to turn three, my plan is to gather photos and special drawings, talents, and paraphernalia that fits them, to make a Me book. I'll photocopy a picture of Grandpa and me, and the other Grandparents too, as well as their parents.  I'll likely search for a picture of their mom, pregnant with them, anxious for this new baby.  It's something I can do, to help a new generation of my family come to know who they are, to be self-assured that I am Me;  I am Unique; and I am Wonderful!


How do you help your children come to know who they are?  Please share your ideas by commenting below.