Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: Set up Summer, so there’s no Bummer!

Becky decided that since her children had had such a structured life all throughout the school year, they needed a break from it during the summer. She let them alone to do what they chose. For a day or two, the children enjoyed the freedom, but soon, they were complaining of being bored, and were actually fighting with each other. It was when Becky added structure back to their day that her usually good-natured kids were back to normal. They thrived under a loose schedule, with their day planned out. Yes, a couple of hours of free time were welcomed by all, but they liked having a plan to their day. Becky planned a time for the morning routine of getting ready, then everyone pitched in to help clean up. From there they did the daily activity/outing, lunchtime, and quiet time for an hour to read or nap. Afternoons were free time and time to reach personal goals, then swimming when Daddy got home. It worked. Her kids had things to do and knew what was coming up.

Ideas Families have Tried:

1. A Daily Schedule--

Most children love the security that a routine provides. Setting up a routine for your summer days may be just the ticket to a happy summer. Make sure it is not too tightly set in stone, but a loose schedule that tells everyone what to expect in the mornings, midday, afternoon, and evening of each day.

When My kids were little, I wrote a little jingle for my children’s morning routine. I called the plan the “Great New Day.” I drew pictures on a chart to illustrate each step for the (non-reading) children to learn. Some of my children enjoyed a set of 3 x 5 cards held together by a ring at the top corner, with a stick-figure picture of each step in the routine on a different card. My kids could them flip through them as they did them. I included in the Great New Day poem the things I wanted my children to do, while keeping it as simple as possible. I also put in some fun items such as giving me a hug (“the important one”), as well as a stretch on the rhyming at the end, that gave my kids a laugh:

“One, wake up; morning prayer

Two, get dressed; jammies away

Three, make bed; fix my hair

Four, set for, a Great New Day!

D, practice Pian-ah”

(I set this to a little non-descript tune, but it would work as a poem alone too!)

As my kids have gotten older, the Great New Day still works. It is especially helpful when there are distractions that come up, and the kids need to get back on track, to get the important things done. (I use it myself on some of "those days"!)

I had one grown-up daughter comment to me how much she had treasured her ringed Great New Day cards as a little girl!

Another of my grown daughters, after teaching her kids the Great New Day poem, made up a Great New Night jingle for her young family:

“One, Jump up; Jammies On

Two, Brush teeth; To the bathroom All Right!

Three, Say prayers: Kiss Mom and Dad

Four, Set for, a Great New Night!”

Mandy’s school-age kids needed something to look forward to and to help prevent boredom through the summer. She set up a day of the week schedule for them.

Monday was Piano lesson day, and with more time in the summer, they could learn more fun songs and more theory than during the year. It was good to get that taken care of early in the week as well.

Tuesday was Friends day, the day they could plan to invite friends over or go to play at their houses.

Wednesday was Library day, which was more fun with a Summer Reading challenge. In fact, on the way to the library, the older kids read to the nonreaders to help them meet their reading goals. When enthusiasm for the library waned among the older ones, Mandy added a treat or a carwash or something cool on the way home.

Thursday was Service day. The family watched for service they could do during the week. Sometimes it required that Mandy make a call or two. They weeded Grandma’s flower bed or scraped mud balls off the neighbor’s back fence. They picked fruit or wrote letters or they simply picked up trash in the neighborhood or at the church parking lot.

Friday was the day they could play a timed stretch of computer games and watch some TV.

Saturday was the day to get the work done before Sunday!

Having a separate thing planned each day helped everyone fit in regularly what they wanted to do through the summer.

Sheryl found that the neighborhood kids were over to her house at all hours of the day and night. She couldn’t plan to do anything with her kids because they would drop everything when the doorbell rang. Sheryl began to tell each friend that her kids were available after 2:00pm. That was free time at her house, and the kids were free to play. Sheryl did specify to her kids that they switch houses every other time, first her child’s house, then next time at the friend’s house. They kept track so that neither family would be overwhelmed.

Liz had some fun outings planned for her kids and swimming lessons too. So she decided at the beginning of the summer that friends were welcomed one day a week all day. Other days she might make an exception, but their own plans were priority. That way, everyone could plan a wonderful play date with a good friend ahead of time, on their Friends Day.

3. Stimulate young minds--

Summer is a great time for cards, puzzles, mind games, and all kinds of games. It is a great time to build something with hammer and nails or with an erector set from the thrift store. Get forgotten belongings down from the closet shelves and help your child get started. Then mother takes off and the child can run with it.

A certain social engineer set out to find out why some kids often fall behind in school. His research showed that these children are just as smart as the achievers, but that during the summer months, they often slip behind due to lack of stimulation. Sometimes, they cannot quite catch up.

Summer is a great time to stimulate young students to learn in different ways, to stretch their brains with new experiences. A child that tries fishing or bowling or a drive through a different state--or reads about it-- will have horizons broadened. Their young brains will stay exercised. So can board games teach them, as well as setting up a lemonade stand or a savings account, writing letters to a pen pal, or staying in a different city with a relative for a stretch.

Of course, reading is a key to a great summer. See next week’s post all about summer reading.

Decide as a couple, then as a family how much screen time you will allow each week and when. Stick to it. If someone forgets, they can try again next week. Replace screen time with something fun, like a family game of Capture the Flag, Red Rover, Speed, or Kick the Can. Sing favorite songs at the piano. Dance across the family to upbeat music. Consider a swim pass.

The Larsons talked together just before school was out for the summer and decided that they didn’t want to get into the habit of watching a lot of TV all summer. Together they decided to turn the TV set to face the wall for the first one or two weeks of summer vacation. Everyone agreed on it, so they’d get out of the habit of turning it on. Sure enough, they found other things to occupy their time, including a puzzle set out on a card table. Joe Larson fashioned a cardboard lid for the table, to cover it whenever they needed the card table for a different use, or to protect it from little ones. With the puzzle accessible, anyone could take a spare minute or ten to find a few pieces that fit! When finished, if they really liked the picture, they glued the puzzle and put it up on the wall!

The kids also got out games and puzzles, did some dress up and cooking, set up army men and made lego creations. It was fun to remember old favorites that there had been little time for, during the year.

Ginger chose a different type of screen time for her family. She remembered how touched her older children had been with the special church movies, such as Legacy, The Testaments, and Joseph Smith, Prophet of the Restoration. Ginger’s family had made a point to go see those on the huge screen in Salt Lake City, and the experience was life changing. Though the movies were accessible to her younger ones, Ginger wanted them to also feel the Spirit profoundly. So one summer, she planned a certain day of each week to take her younger kids to watch a movie at the nearby Temple Visitor Center. It was cool, the screens were large, the Spirit was strong, and her children could have a choice experience and a testimony builder.

5. One-on-One time--

One summer, Kim wanted to schedule some one-on-one time with each child, so she gave each of her children a day of the week. During free time that day, Kim planned something with whoever’s day it was that day. It could be a board game together, an outing for a treat or a dollar store item, or an errand for a much-needed item of clothing (for example Sunday pants that were way too short!). Some days it was just an errand Kim had to get done, such as buying a birthday gift. Or maybe they just took a drive together. Kim was able to have some great conversations and form some good connections during the private time together that summer.

6. Goals and Earnings--

At the beginning of each summer, each of my children set a goal for what they want to accomplish during the upcoming summer. For some, it is one thing that they will do daily, such as an online class or to learn cursive or to keyboard. For others, it is several things that they can choose from each day, such as do merit badges, practice basketball, or do calisthenics. Some chose to get better on an instrument. In fact, one of my kids decided to switch instruments over the summer, so he taught himself to play the cello! Another son borrowed Grandmother’s Shorthand book, since he wanted to learn Shorthand!

After these goals are in place, I make a chart with a box for each day of the summer for them to keep track. Two marks can be recorded in each box, one for accomplishing their goal that day and the other one for their daily chores. These include their practicing and taking care of clothing, as well as, regular chores and hygiene. At the beginning of the summer, in June, the daily chores must be done by 10:00am to count; in July it must be by 9am; and in August it must be by 8am, thus moving their morning routine earlier in time for a new school year!

For each mark, our children earn one dollar, so there is the possibility of earning $2 per day, or $10 per week. However, this money is not given to them yet. At the end of the summer, they receive this money on the day we go out to shop for school clothes and supplies! It is money that I would have spent on school clothes anyway, but this way, they get to manage their own earned money. It is given them in an envelope to spend wisely.

The beauty of this plan is that they get better each year at foreseeing the end of the summer reckoning. “If I make sure I get my $2 earned each day,” they realize more and more,” I’ll have more to spend on my school supplies.” The other thing is that by managing their own, they make the decisions: “Do I really need a new backpack this year? Or should I use the money for another pair of jeans?” “I really want this special lunchbox, so maybe I’ll make last year’s backpack do another year.” Or, “These shirts are several dollars less, and I like them just fine. I won’t buy the expensive ones since I don’t want to run out of money so fast!”

If anyone is not able to buy all the needed items, they can keep earning each day for as long as necessary. I can buy the items, and they can earn the money by continuing their summer goal and chores, and “pay” it to me.

7. Spring (Summer) Cleaning--

Haley plans a little piece of deep cleaning or organizing into each morning. At a certain time, she announces the plan and gives the assignment. Usually it is a certain number of “Job Pleases.” (The kids come to her a say “Job Please” a certain number of times. And the first ones to start usually get the best jobs!) When cleaning out a drawer or cupboard, she’ll divide her kids in half into “taker outers” and “putter inners.” Haley will be the one who wipes out the drawer and organizes while her kids put things back in. It’s great fun to get to wash the silk plants outside with the hose and leave them in the sun to dry. Haley found that if the family cleans out the toy closet as the beginning of summer vacation, the kids rediscover some favorite games they had forgotten about just when there is more time to play! Though the kids may grumble about the work to do, they all love it when things are sparkling clean or organized! (Especially if Haley reminds them how much they love it!)

Summer is great time to do some experimenting and learning in the Kitchen. All kinds of chemistry is learned in the kitchen!

Molly let each of her children chose one day a week that they would cook dinner! When she planned her grocery shopping, they got to pick an item they would cook, so she could buy the ingredients. It was fun to pick something and then to make it! They learned to read a recipe and some basic cooking skills. What’s more, the kids learned from this a lot of gratitude for her! They learned that cooking a dinner that turns out is not always easy, and that sometimes things go wrong. They were less likely to complain.