Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: It'll Be Great when I turn Eight!

We parents are preparing our children from the time they are born for the important step of baptism. Before age 8 is a special time for children, without temptation from Satan. Yes, they pick up wrongdoings from the world around them, and they too deal with the natural man. But sins do not form in their hearts from temptations of Satan. It is the perfect time to teach the gospel.

Baptism is one of the most important things a child can do, and we must teach him that. We can show him scripturally, that Baptism is the Gate that must be opened to commence in the path back to Heavenly Father. ( 2 Nephi 31:9, 17-18) No one can get back to Him without being baptized. It’s the first step, and it’s that important! In fact, that is why we do this ordinance in the temple for those who died before they had the chance to hear the gospel and be baptized.

Trudy felt it was not quite right to tell her young kids to repent, since they really were incapable of committing sin. However, she knew she couldn’t wait until after age 8 to teach repentance. So Trudy began to call it “practicing repenting.” When her child made a wrong choice, she urged him to practice repenting, teaching him all the steps of repentance. The Primary song calls it wrongs: “I know when I am baptized, my wrongs are washed away.” (When I am Baptized, Children’s Songbook p. 103)

Charles and Carol also didn’t like to talk about their kids’ sins being washed away, because they knew their children were not accountable and therefore couldn’t commit any great sins. Instead, they taught that though the kids sometimes made small mistakes, they were good and Heavenly Father was pleased with the good things they had already learned to do. Sometimes children pile up the wrong doings in anticipation of them being washed away soon anyway! “I can just save up and have all my sins washed away at once!” So, instead they stressed that when they turned eight, they would be old enough to understand right and wrong and so were expected to and would want to choose the right. They focused on how good you feel when you do what’s right.

I wanted to make sure my son was prepared for baptism. Our family had regular scripture study and Family Night, but I didn’t really know what this youngest son had picked up and really knew, and what he had missed. So I decided to teach him a little bit every night. I would lay down beside my son on his bed and just talk to him. We would review the 4^th Article of Faith night after night until he knew it well (knowing that the Bishop likely would ask him to recite it in the baptismal interview). We regularly went over the Baptismal Covenant: the promises he would make and the promises the Lord makes in return.

I used the acronym TAKE to help him know the covenant he would make: Take His Name upon us; Always remember Him; Keep His commandments; and Endure to the end. To this, I added the parts of the covenant from Mosiah 18:8-9, that remind us that we promise to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that need comfort, and stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places. Then I emphasized the wonderful things God promises us: to give us the constant gift of the Holy Ghost; to forgive us when we repent; and to give us eternal life! I didn’t overwhelm him with too much at once, but took a little piece at a time to talk over with him. A silent prayer beforehand helped me to tune in to him and to have the words that would help him best understand.

My son especially responded to the concept that now that he was going to become a member of the Church, he would be joining Jesus’ team! Just like he put on a soccer jersey for his soccer team, he now was “putting Jesus’ name on himself” by taking upon him Jesus’ name. This team name was not written on his shirt but should still be as obvious to people that he was like Jesus and on His team and doing His work. The other team was Satan’s team and they would be trying to beat us constantly. But we must be true to our team and help conquer Satan.

A mom and dad can teach their child to desire the Holy Ghost. They can refer to it as a precious gift to them. Often they can tell about promptings they receive that help them so much in their own lives. The child will then long for this precious gift for herself.

Elizabeth knew that Audrey needed to understand about Satan and about the temptations and whisperings from him. She must learn to recognize them, as well as to recognize the peaceful, quiet whisperings of the Spirit. Elizabeth told her stories, from her own life, from the Friend and other church magazines that taught Audrey about the Holy Ghost and it ways and promptings. She used the word Comforter to describe how the Holy Ghost can make you feel like a warm blanket has been put around your shoulders.

I like to tell my children a Story, to help them understand baptism. I describe a Kingdom with a castle and a wonderful King, afar off in the distance. We want to get there so bad because the King was so wonderful and wise, and in His Kingdom everything was good and right. There was a path that we started walking on that led right up to the Castle, and we started walking on it toward this Kingdom. But very soon we came to a wall, large and tall which blocked the way! Oh good! There was a gate in the wall! We wanted to go through the gate in order to stay on the path, but it was locked. A gatekeeper stood there at the gate, and it was Jesus! (2 Nephi 9:41) And the key to open it was His Priesthood. If we follow Jesus and are baptized like He was, we are going through the gate, the first step back to Father in Heaven. (See “The Castle: a parable about Baptism” in this blog)

4. Dealing with Fears concerning Baptism.

Some little children are afraid of being baptized. Maybe it’s the going under the water that scares them or other fears. Parents should leave the lines of communication open and be approachable on this topic. They can reassure and address the fears if they know and understand them.

Sheri had herself been afraid of going under water before her baptism. She reassured her very young child that he wouldn’t have to be baptized until he was ready. (That gave her time to take him swimming and let him get used to going under water before approaching age 8.) When her children were approaching 8 years old, Sheri was so grateful to the Primary in her ward. They presented a booklet to the seven year olds at a visit to their home. Inside were some activities and some articles copied from the Friend about baptism and receiving the Holy Ghost. Most of them dealt with children who had one fear or another as his or her baptism approached. For example, one story was about a boy who was afraid that the sins of the children baptized before him were left in the water! Another story was about a little girl who was very afraid of all ghosts! Sheri so appreciated this tool to help her spend time with and talk to her seven year old as they got ready for the special baptism day. When the younger children turned seven and there was no longer this resource, Sheri reused previous books and did some research to find stories herself for these children. It helped the preparation for baptism be a sweet time.

Rose Ann knew that the Bishop’s interview might be a stressful time for her shy child Calvin. So she started early to teach him the things he would need to know. They went over and over the questions he might ask so Calvin would be confident. Rose Ann reassured him how much the Bishop loved him and would help him. During the months previous to his baptism whenever he had tithing to pay, she would go with him to hand in the tithing and shake the Bishop’s hand. Also, Rose Ann used holidays as a time to get closer to him by letting Calvin help her put together a plate of goodies to bring to the Bishop’s home. He gradually became Calvin’s friend and ally.

Rick liked to practice the actual ordinance of baptism with his soon to be baptized child. He stood with his child and showed her how to place her hands. He let the child feel secure in his strong arms. Rick then explained how to bend her knees to make going down in the water quick and easy. He told her she could choose to plug her nose if she wanted and they tried it. They would practice until she felt secure.

Judith found that the best way to prepare her children for baptism was to start taking them at a very early age to baptisms. The family would attend the baptisms of cousins and friends from Primary, so they saw what would happen and that it was normal when one turned eight. Her kids would feel comfortable and start to get excited about having this beautiful day themselves. During the year before their 8^th birthday, Judith and Bob would hold Family Home evenings where the child could ask questions and practice.

Inviting others not of our faith to the baptism is a great idea for a missionary experience. Special teachers and friends, knowing the excitement a child feels for this special day, may choose to come support him. Baptisms are spirit-filled occasions--especially convert baptisms--and how wonderful to allow our friends to have that experience with us!

6. Make the Day as Stress-free as possible.

Lori’s bishop gave her wise counsel, in relation to the proceedings of the baptism day. Keep it simple, he told her, and focus on the ordinance and not on the child. This helped her not to stress about lots of extra fluff but to emphasize that which was most important.

Grace’s oldest daughter Sabrina was extra sensitive and conscientious about things. At her baptism the ordinance had to be done over since it was unclear whether part of her had gone completely under the water. Grace feared that this daughter would be totally devastated at this happening and humiliated about having to do it twice. At the first possible chance, Grace said to her, “Isn’t it wonderful that they did your baptism twice?!” Sabrina looked up at her somewhat incredulously. “They wanted to make absolute sure that it was done right! You’re lucky!” At that, Sabrina’s expression turned from bewilderment to contentment. “Yea, I guess you’re right!” Grace had turned that detail of Sabrina’s baptism from negative to positive in her mind, for right then and for every reminiscence from then on!

Cilla knew that Pictures would be important reminders of this day for her child. She realized that she must allow time to take pictures of her child dressed in white before the baptism, as it would not work to take them after her child’s hair and white clothes were wet. Cilla arranged to take a picture of the child and father in front of the font before the baptism began, and then afterward there was time for pictures in Sunday clothes with the family and friends. She worked hard to get their early so the picture would not be stressful.

Julie liked to get a professional portrait of her eight year old in white. It reminded all, there on the wall, of the special baptism time. She had it taken later, after the baptism was over (but before her child had outgrown the special baptism clothes!).

When Marta was eight years old, a favorite elderly lady friend in her ward, made her a special cake to celebrate her baptism. It was a replica of the Temple! The cake was cut to the shape of the temple, with white frosting and glossy outlines of windows. It was placed on a large board, and the grounds were made with tinted coconut grass, plastic trees and flowers, and even a reflecting pool, made from plain gelatin tinted blue in a small plastic lid! Marta was delighted with her special cake. She decided to make one for each of her own children when they were eight years old. To them, it signified the next big step after baptism—looking towards the temple ordinances!

Similarly, the Rogers family like to give their daughter porcelain dolls, dressed as brides, to help them look forward to the next covenant they will make, in the temple.

Sarah and Mike decided to have a special countdown to their children’s special eighth birthday. Calling it “Days of Eight,” they planned something fun for each day. For one, Grandma came and took the child out for ice cream. On another day, they read stories about baptism. It was a fun lead up to the special day. Another idea would be to have this lead up to the Baptism Day-- if it is different than the birthday.

It was important to Dianne to have her child record his special feelings on his baptism day. She provided a journal and tried to provide a quiet time to help her eight year old write (or dictate to him what to write). Of course, things can go wrong and children can be worn out after a big day. Dianne decided that the next day or Sunday was okay for his journal writing too. She liked to record the names of everyone who had come, emphasizing to him what great support he had from family and friends.

Sometimes, a child is determined to stay so clean after his baptism and so feels devastated when he goes ahead and makes a mistake! “I blew it!” he may think. Parents can be available to reassure their newly-washed-clean child that when he or she has made a mistake, there is still the Sacrament to allow us to be clean again! “Isn’t the Gospel wonderful?! Didn’t Jesus do a wonderful thing for us, when he suffered so that we can repent!”

Charles and Carol liked to emphasize what a privilege it was to become a member of Christ’s church. After being baptized, they were old enough to be a really good example of those who believe in Christ. They stressed how good the kids felt when they chose the right and that the gift of the Holy Ghost that would soon be with them would help them always choose the right.