Victor and Carla adopted three little children from an
orphanage in Russia. The youngest, a
little boy age 3, had bright sparkly eyes and a fun-loving personality. But as he grew, he struggled. He had trouble in school and socially and
with his brothers and sisters. Violent
behaviors began to erupt, bringing chaos and stress to the entire family. Victor and Carla searched to find out what
was wrong and upon checking with his records from the orphanage, discovered
that their son had been taken from his mother with no time to bond, and
therefore had received little or no attachment at birth. As a result, his brain and all his bodily
systems had not developed normally.
On the other side of the world, in my own young family, our twin
sons were born 8 weeks early. They were separated in to two isolettes in the
Newborn ICU and both babies were not thriving.
Though we gave them all the attention we could each day, and I tried to
pump breast milk for them, we also had to care for our 16 month and 2 1/2 year
old daughters and set up a temporary home (we had literally been in transit to
another state when I went into labor).
As each day went by, they continued to lose weight. How I longed to bring them home and hold and
love them full-time, but they wouldn't be able to leave until they gained
weight. Then, at a nurse’s wonderful
suggestion, we tape-recorded our voices talking to each boy and singing to
them. These recordings could be played
whenever we weren't able to be there.
That did the trick! The boys
began to gain weight! And soon, we could
bring them home and shower them with more love and attachment!
From these two incidents, I knew somewhat of the importance
of bonding and the principle of Attachment.
Or thought I did! I was
privileged to attend a lecture on the subject by a wonderful lady, Dr. Marlene
Hinton, who earned a PhD from ASU in Education, and a mother of 8 children. I would like to share with you the marvelous things I learned, including what to do when a baby did not get Attachment at birth. But I need a week to put together my notes.
GREAT THINGS COMING IN A WEEK!!
Labels: Babies--Attachment-need for, Children--Attachment-need for