Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: A Firm Mind in a Crisis

Mark and I were visiting with friends about storing water. One mentioned that he had stored water next to the onion salt, and it started to develop on onion-y taste. Another also mentioned how the water she’d stored a long time had an unpleasant taste. “I’d drink it in an emergency though,” she mentioned. But when I asked both people if their kids would drink that water, they answered with an emphatic “No!” What if there were a real emergency and no other drinking water was available, so you pushed and pushed, anxious that your kids not get dehydrated, would they not fight you more and more! And maybe refuse!! I submit that we need to help our children develop a firm mind to face a crisis with an “I can do this” attitude!

Ideas Families have Tried:

1. Talk about Possible Crises.

In Arizona where I live, we used to tell each other: we never have any big calamities! There are no blizzards, no earthquakes, no tornadoes, no tsunamis, and no hurricanes. We have monsoon rains, but they just leave us a little more humid than we are used to and wet down the dust! But in recent years, there have been some large haboos (huge dust storms that cover the whole sky); a huge Microburst that downed trees in almost every yard, and ruined the roof on almost every house in our area; and then this year’s hundred- or even thousand-year rain that flooded countless basements and left many with no power for several days. I don’t say that anymore. I believe that these somewhat small crises are actually a gift from a loving Father in Heaven to help us prepare for greater calamities prophesied ahead. When we see what happened in our own community to our neighbors, we can use it to talk over what we would do in a similar or greater situation. What if we had no electricity? How would we cook? How would we save the food from spoiling? Could we manage okay for several days?

Tina and Sam sat down with her family and talked over what they would take in they ever had to evacuate. What would be first priority, then second, etc. If they had only a few minutes before a flash flood, for example, what would be the first things to grab? Together they decided that Water was the number one necessity, as a person could live without food longer than water. Especially in summer or in the desert, water would be first priority. 2^nd was food, then 3^rd was cash—and they decided to build up the cash on hand in 5’s, 10’s, and 20’s. Sunscreen and hats were important in their climate, should they have to walk or set up camp outdoors. Change of clothes, extra socks, first aid items, hygiene items, blankets, a tent. One picture album or pictures on a flash drive made the list too. A wind-up radio, scriptures and reading material, important papers were there too, and etc. Tina recorded all their ideas on a 4x6 card, and taped it up in the pantry. It felt so good to have simply talked it out, and to have a simple plan in place. Later on, Tina added a pack of cards to the list, in case they had to pass time in a different location with little to do.

2. Store more than food.

In the book Frederick, by Leo Lioni, a family of mice is gathering food for the coming winter. All the other mice are scurrying around picking up wheat and seeds to store, but Frederick is not helping. When they ask him to help, he insists that he is helping. He is storing up other things they will need! Well, the winter hits and grows long, and the food begins to run out. But Frederick is there with tales of Sunshine that he has stored up, the Color that was no longer visible, and Words to fill their minds now that they didn’t feel “chatty” any more. I confess that when I read this as a young girl, I felt like it wasn’t fair for Frederick to sit there and not help. What good were those things he “stored” when there wasn’t enough food? Shouldn’t it be like “The Grasshopper and the Ants” Fable, that those who don’t help don’t get to eat?

Well, I’ve changed my mind. Yes, everyone should help with the work! And the idle, say the scriptures, should not eat the bread of the laborer. But there is more to store as well as food!

We must store Stories, to know well and to have in our heads, especially Family Stories/Ancestor Stories, to show us who we are and that we can do hard things.

We must store or Treasure up the Word of God, and the Ability to Receive the Holy Ghost as our Guide.

We must store Righteous Attitudes and a Firm Mind.

In JS-- Matthew 24:11, 37, we read that “he that remaineth steadfast and is not overcome, the same shall be saved...And whoso treasureth up my word, shall not be deceived.” And in Doctrine and Covenants 45:57, we learn that “they that are wise and have received the truth, and have taken the Holy Spirit for their guide, and have not been deceived..shall abide the day.”

3. Think it through together.

Joni talked to her kids about drinking water with a story: “Once upon a time, there was no water left to drink in Jimmy and Johnny’s house. They couldn’t turn on the faucet for water, because there was no electricity to pump the city’s water to their house. They only had what water they had stored. But when Jimmy and Johnny’s Daddy got out the barrels of water for them to drink, it smelled really funny. Jimmy immediately said, “I’m not drinking this water! It smells gross!!” Johnny said, “I know what to do! I’ll just plug my nose, so I can drink it.” Time when by, and both boys got really thirsty again. Jimmy fussed and cried, but still refused to drink it. Instead he sat in the corner and pouted. Johnny, on the other hand, plugged his nose and drank the water, even if it tasted a little funny. Soon, Jimmy got sicker and sicker. His body didn’t have the water it needed, but still he wouldn’t drink the water they had stored. He got worse and worse and after only two days, he went unconscious and was about to die. Johnny wished his brother had just had the courage to go ahead a drink, even though it tasted funny!” “Which of these boys was smartest?” Joni asked the obvious, then “Which would you be like?”

Marni’s son came into the kitchen and saw an apple there, cut in half on the counter. It had turned slightly brown as it sat there. Marni offered it to him, but he said, “No, I want a fresh one!” “Son,” Marni replied, “If you are Picky, you're gonna be Hungry! If that were the only food available, would you eat it?” “I don’t know,” he said. Another day, she made biscuits for breakfast. The family ate them with butter and honey or jam. “What if we had no butter, or honey or jam?” Marni asked them. “There may come a time when we can’t go to the store and we would have to eat bread or biscuits alone. Would you eat it and be thankful for it?” she posed, helping them to start developing a firm, ready mind that would do what was necessary.

“We don’t Deserve it, we Earn it” is a great phrase Shana uses to fight an Entitlement Attitude in her kids. She wants them to work for what they want, and not just expect a hand out. See Work #3 post.

Remember the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina? So many people blamed the government for not being there, with food and supplies fast enough, and not helping them good enough. I read an article about those used to weather problems. They lived in extreme blizzard country, and when major storms hit and power was down and people were stranded, all just hunkered down and helped one another. No one expected the government to be there with necessities—they stored their own. We can adopt this kind of attitude., and pass it on to our children.

Another great attitude is “But if Not,” taught by Elder Lance B. Wickman in a talk given in October Conference 2002. He used the example of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego, who faced the fiery furnace with the attitude that the Lord would help them, but if not, they would still be true to Him. We can use that same phrase and help it be a ready response when we pray for a lost item or ask that we be made well: “I Know the Lord can help me. I know the Lord will help me. But if not, I will still be true.”

In The Yearling, by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, Jodi, a boy from the backwoods of Florida, catches and tames a young deer, who becomes his dearest friend. There’s only one problem, as he grows, “Flag” starts to eat the family’s meager crops! They replant, and Jodi works hard to build fences around them. They try everything. But finally, Flag eats the second planting of crops. It is at that point that his father Penny insists that the deer must be shot. Jodi finally is able to kill his beloved pet, but then he runs away, and while he is gone, comes face to face with “Ol’ Starvation” and how awful it is to be hungry. When he makes his way home, Penny tells him, “Ever' man wants life to be a fine thing, and a easy. 'Tis fine, boy, powerful fine, but 'tain't easy. Life knocks a man down and he gits up and it knocks him down agin. I've been uneasy all my life...

"I've wanted life to be easy for you. Easier'n 'twas for me. A man's heart aches, seein' his young uns face the world. Knowin' they got to git their guts tore out, the way his was tore. I wanted to spare you, long as I could. I wanted you to frolic with your yearlin'. I knowed the lonesomeness he eased for you. But ever' man's lonesome. What's he to do then? What's he to do when he gits knocked down? Why, take it for his share and go on."

It’s an attitude that is worth pondering and passing on: Count it as our Share and go on.”

Can we possibly help our families develop this kind of attitude? This is just “Our Share,” so we will take it and go on.

5. Develop Resourcefulness

I recently became aware of a program called “Days for Girls.” It addresses a need in 3^rd world Africa for feminine hygiene. Without pads, as soon as a girl’s period starts, she must quit school and sit on cardboard during those days she has her cycle. This program has come up with some discreet reusable pads that clean up in very little water in a ziplock bag. It is literally giving back these girls a life! It made me think: would the girls in our families here, if they found themselves without feminine hygiene products, shrivel up in a corner, and in a sense “Curse God and Die?” Or will they be resourceful? It is their frame of mind that will get them through times of hardship. We can help them now, little by little, to be resourceful and to make do.

Those that lived through the Holocaust and survived were those with a firm mind. These people didn’t know what to expect, so they couldn’t have thought it through ahead. But, they told themselves, “I am going to survive. I can get through this.” And they had a why—to tell the story of what happened here so it won’t happen again, or to reunite with my family. They decided to get through it, so figured out a way to survive what they were dished out.

6. Happiness during turmoil and calamity

Can we really be happy during times of crisis? In the article “The Science of Happiness,” Church News we learn that happiness is only 10% circumstances, 40% actions we take. We learn that as Victor Frankl put it “Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself.” http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865610715/The-Science-of-Happiness.html?pg=all

Gratitude is a real key to happiness.
What has God given us?

Trials. Remember, “It’s the Load that gets us Home” David A. Bednar April Conf. ‘14

Scriptures. Promises, such as Alma 9:26 He is “quick to hear the cries of His people”

Talents, Skills, Capabilities. Scouting is a great tool to help us develop these

Each Other. Our families, extended families, neighborhoods, wards,

Tender Mercies Constantly. “I know in whom I have trusted...

I will trust in Thee Forever.” 2 Nephi 4:19, 34

Signs and Wonders in the Heavens. Amazing beauty in the skies.

Everything! President Uchtdorf has taught us to be grateful in any circumstances.

Calamities have been foretold, even the Great and Dreadful Day of the Lord. We can endure these, and even be happy and at peace, with our families, IF we develop a Firm and Steadfast Mind, Treasure up the Word of God, and Take the Holy Ghost to Be our Guides. May ours and our children’s minds be Firm and Steadfast, Immovable and Prepared.