Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: Thanks to our Loving Father

How do we perceive our God? How do we portray Him to our kids? Do we Thank Him enough? “Sadly, much of modern Christianity does not acknowledge that God makes any real demands on those who believe in Him,” teaches D. Todd Christofferson, “seeing Him rather as a butler ‘who meets their needs when summoned’ or a therapist whose role is to help people ‘feel good about themselves.’ 2 It is a religious outlook that ‘makes no pretense at changing lives.’3 ‘By contrast,’ as one author declares, ‘the God portrayed in both the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures asks, not just for commitment, but for our very lives. The God of the Bible traffics in life and death, not niceness, and calls for sacrificial love, not benign whatever-ism.'"4 https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/as-many-as-i-love-i-rebuke-and-chasten?

This true God asks us to Thank Him. “Thank the Lord in all things,” He asks us in D&C 59:7. How do we engender this gratitude in our children? Gratitude is a Godly trait. “Gratitude is a Fire Extinguisher for Pride” said a wise man I know well (Mark). In an entitlement society, how do we teach our children to be grateful?

Ideas Families have Tried:

1. List blessings with our kids constantly. Point out God’s hand in their daily lives.

Margareta loved to count blessings with her children as they drove in the car. They made it into a game, taking turns listing the things they were so blessed with. She got the idea from Richard and Lynda Eyre who coined the phrase “Aren’t We Blessed?” which each person would say after they found a new blessing to be grateful for. From Teaching Children Joy, a book I would highly recommend, available free online at http://www.eyresfreebooks.com/index.html.

Use bible stories to teach gratitude. The story of the 10 lepers helps us learn to not take our blessings for granted, but to thank God for them. Luke 17:17 Job teaches us that “the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

2. Put words in their mouths

Jim and Ella would put words of gratitude into their children’s mouths. Jim would prompt a child to say “Thanks, Mom!” when she had cooked them a nice meal or washed their clothes. Ella did the same and reminded “Thanks Dad” when he helped a child with his homework or provided the money for a needed item. Sometimes Ella opted to do it for herself. For example, if Dad wasn’t home, giving the “Thanks Mom” reminder when she wanted to remind a child to be grateful for something she had done for him.

3. Put words in their prayers

Sandra liked to kneel with her young children one by one and talk over with them a specific thing or two that they were grateful for, before they said their prayers. “Let’s remember to thank Heavenly Father for that,” she would prompt. It coaxed her kids away from only reciting a list of things they wanted Heavenly Father to “bless” or do for them, and remember better that He is their Loving Father.

Our family has long held the tradition of giving thanks for 10 things in every prayer during the month of November. This practice helps us feel more gratitude. This year, however, we added an additional step. We call it “making each prayer our own.” The plan is for us not only to listen to the one who is saying the blessing or offering family prayer (and count whether that person got his ten things thanked for), but also to repeat in our minds the gratitude expressed. So when a family member prays, “Thank thee for our home,” we all repeat internally, “Yes, I am so thankful that we have this home!” When we hear “Thank thee for the food,” we think, “Yes, I am so grateful that we have food to eat!” Before a family prayer begins, we remind each other with a catchphrase: “Make the prayer yours!” Our hope is to better make the gratitude really our own.

4. I’m Thankful for You! Help kids express gratitude for each other!

The Daniels’ like to list their favorite thing about each other before family prayer. When they kneel for evening Family Prayer, they all say a nice thing about the person whose turn it is to give the prayer. So when it’s your turn to pray, the others all give you a complement!

The Ellertsons have made a game of “I’m thankful for you” that they play in FHE every November. They pass around a piece of paper for each family member, with each one’s name on the top, and list their favorite reason they are thankful for that person on the bottom, then fold it up and pass it around. Not only do they realize more so what they like about each other, but also their own self-confidence is boosted by all the good things listed! They can thus be more grateful for their own talents and virtues! (See Thanksgiving Ideas post http://ideasformypocket.blogspot.com/search/label/Holiday%3A%20%20Thanksgiving%20Ideas)

5. Cultivate Gratitude Ourselves. An attitude of appreciation is contagious! “Look at that Sky? Isn’t it Gorgeous! I’m so grateful for sunsets!” Remember, they learn the most from what we are.

We parents have around us choice Spirits reserved for these last days, and we must cultivate gratitude for them. If you are feeling less than grateful for your children, go and peek in on them when they are asleep. They are easy to love then! Talk to a couple that struggles with infertility, or picture yourself trading places with them, and you will feel better.

“A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505. Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?” Lynn Robbins https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/what-manner-of-men-and-women-ought-ye-to-be?lang=eng

These strong-willed children help us to develop what President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, to be not only grateful for things, but ”grateful in any circumstances.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng Like a loving father watches his child struggle to learn to walk or to figure out how to ride a bike, He, our Loving Father above, also lets us struggle, knowing we will learn and grow because of it, like the struggles we have to raise a difficult child and be better for going through it. May God grant us eternal perspective to see past the daily struggles, and may we better thank Him for the ride!