New Baby Dilemmas

Newborn Happiness not Hardship!

The fact that there is “Opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11) is never truer than when you have a New Baby.  The joy is immeasurable, to have this precious tiny gift from above, yet there are challenges galore!  It is a huge adjustment, turning a family’s lives upside down!  But if we can deal with the issues and dilemmas that come up, there is more time for the Joy!

1.  Well-meaning Nurses and Doctors

We are so grateful for the health professionals, who do us such a great service.  But sometimes, they seem to get in the way of our best desires and hopes.  

To prevent this and help have the experience you want, come up with your own Birth Plan.  Spell out carefully what you want to have happen when you give birth.
 
For example, Starla wanted to nurse her baby immediately after delivery to bond with the baby and give comfort, and at the same time help her uterus start to contract down.  She wanted her mother in the delivery room as well as her husband.   Rob wanted to be the one to cut the cord.  It was important to both her and Rob that the baby to stay in their room at all times.  They decided to refuse the required Silver Nitrate drops in the baby’s eyes, or at least delay it (then quickly wipe the baby’s eyes afterward) in order that their baby could see them both for the first segment of time after delivery.  These drops are for preventing venereal disease, and since there was no possibility of that for them, refusing these would prevent a headache.  Silver Nitrate can bring an awful problem with clogged tear ducts!  

Spell out what you want, then have your doctor sign it.  And then, pray for an understanding nurse that will help you carry out your wishes.  It really helps!

Hank always asked to accompany his new babies whenever they had to leave the hospital room.  One time, the doctor scoffed when Hank wanted to be there for the circumcision.  Nonetheless, he and Donna felt better keeping their new charge in sight at all times.  Hank and Donna always tried to be polite, yet firm.  Each time a nurse or doctor would need to whisk their baby away for a blood test or a circumcision or etc., though they longed to hold and bond with this new one they were just meeting, politely, they would insisted that Daddy come along, to watch over their new infant wherever he or she must go.  



2.  Afterbirth pains

Labor may be over, but you may still have to deal with some pain.  That contracting uterus can bring huge cramping and pain. 

I found that if I would frequently reach down to my tummy and gently massage my own uterus, it would prevent the need for the doctor or nurse to come massage it vigorously and painfully!  I would massage myself just enough to hardly hurt, but do it frequently.  My uterus would then shrink down at my own pace and to the doctor’s satisfaction!  With that taken care off, the afterbirth pains seemed to be lessened, as well.

Another help is to lay on your tummy as soon as you have a minute.  This feels so good!  And it coaxes the uterus down too.  A helpful exercise that you can start on the hospital bed is to breathe in and fill your tummy up with air, then blow out the air while the abdominal muscles stay extended out.  Then draw your abs back toward your spine as far as you can. And repeat. Moving Through Pregnancy, By Elizabeth Bing, 1975.

3.  Colicky Crying

Babies cry.  It is healthy—you would worry about a baby who didn’t cry at all.  It is just about their only way to communicate.  But some cry a lot!  I felt better about my colicky babies when someone told me  that babies who cry a lot are used to hearing their own voice and so end up being the extra smart ones!  Certainly, a baby has to have strong healthy lungs to do all that wailing.  Colic is something to wait out.    Mothers can experiment with what foods may cause a baby’s gassy tummy through her breastmilk.  But generally, they must wait, as Colic generally tapers off by the time the baby is 3 months old.

Some babies have more trouble with gas bubbles than others.  Any tip to soothe baby and rid her tummy of the gas is appreciated! 

Many a new family has taken the baby for a ride in the car come evening time, as this put him right to sleep!  The extra cost in gas was well worth it!  But if that is not possible, the movement from a ride in the stroller through the house at midnight is another way to calm a baby!  

Heidi found that taking her young baby on a walk outside calmed her down.  She also would turn on the vacuum and let the vibrating sound do the trick!

Marisol’s baby had colic!  Every evening, he became fussy and would cry long stretches.  However, she learned something that helped.  When she finished nursing, Marisol would carefully lay her little guy on his back.  If she did so, then picked him up to burp him a couple minutes later, the burping was more successful, and the baby therefore had less gas bubbles left inside.  She and Mike also learned to secure the baby in his infant seat on top of the clothes dryer.  The vibration seemed to help his tummy issues too!





Grant learned that if he held his newborn baby with a tummy hold after a feeding, it helped release the burps and bubbles.  He would place his baby’s head at the crook of his arm, with his hand firmly on her tummy. 

Of course, if the crying gets too severe, a doctor would need to be notified. All mothers get tired.  All must recognize that when anger comes, it is time to pass the baby to a spouse or put him in his bed to just cry for a few minutes, while she gets a drink, clears her head, goes to the bathroom, prays for help, and regroups.  She knows she must never ever resort to shaking, even slightly, her infant.

Tyra decided to look at the periods of crying as her baby’s insistence, in the middle of the night, that his busy mom take a good stretch of time for him.  She quit accusing the baby of stealing her sleep and started looking at the nighttime stretch as a chance for her one on one with her baby.  She started offering a prayer to help her go on and to somehow get her needed rest.  Tyra firmly believes the Lord can and will, when asked, make her little stretches of sleep more effective sleep, so that less will suffice.

4.  Baby Blues

Being aware of baby blues helps a new mom cope with it.  Knowing it is simply an adjustment of the body’s mixed up hormones back to normal helps her know she is natural to feel a bit blue.  She shouldn’t have to feel guilty to be down at such a joyous time.

One mother learned that for her, baby blues set in when her baby was about three months old.  She knew what was going on and didn’t berate herself for her feelings, just rode them out.

Tabitha had been such an active "going lady," so it was quite an adjustment to be home with her new baby.  But her mother arrived just at two weeks and helped ease her into the new role.  Having a friend around or letting her husband take the baby for a stretch really seemed to help.  Not trying to do it all alone was a real key for Tabitha's prevention of severe Baby Blues.  

Rosemary couldn’t seem to knock her low moods.  Her wise doctor counseled her to do two things:  play the piano, a talent she had neglected for a while; and simply hold her baby more.  Her bottle­fed baby had been passed to Dad or one of the kids real often.  So, upon following the doctor’s advice to hold the baby more, it did this mother wonders to simply hold her baby for long periods and love her.  Gradually she found relief from the depressing feelings.

“A morning low” is what Sara termed her feelings of despair that would hit each day about 8 or 9am.  She found that by 10 or 11, the world looked better and she wondered at her earlier despair.  Adding protein to her breakfast helped this situation.  However, eggs didn’t work as well as white meat.  She felt like this was a “time of winter,” as mentioned in the Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89), which is a time for meat.  Gradually she no longer needed this supplement to her usual diet (although she did make sure to continue her prenatal vitamins throughout post-partum and nursing)!

Baby blues are part of the opposition in all things:  a down feeling in opposition to the high of having this sweet new baby.  It is normal for the world to get somewhat turned upside down for a while after a new baby.  So don’t expect too much too soon.  Also, give your body time to recuperate and adjust. 

Chantel  got her husband’s support to watch the baby for her exercise time.   With her daily series of mild exercises, she felt like she was doing something to get back her figure.  An attitude adjustment helps too.  She learned not to expect to slim down too fast.  Chantel had to train her mind to turn to gratitude each time she started to feel down.

Severe or prolonged depression needs a doctor’s care, of course.  If this be the case for you, do not try to conquer it alone.  And also, let the Lord in to help you through.  Be full of constant prayer, to get you through each minute, if necessary.  This too will pass, and your baby will grow up.  Let some things go, so you can cherish, as well as get through this time.




5.  Baby Stains

These sweet little babies sure are good at getting their darling new clothes all stained!  Both the spit up from the top and the explosions from the bottom can ruin their cute little outfits!

Shayla learned the hard way to treat baby stains immediately—or at least, as soon as possible.  Even if she couldn’t stick the outfits in the wash right away, as the laundry facility they used was across the apartment complex, she could at least pour dish detergent over the stain, so it wouldn’t set. 

Cami found out that if a baby stain did not come out in the wash, she could have a second chance to get it out—IF she didn’t dry it yet.  Once a stained item of clothing went through the dryer, the stain was set in there for good.  But if she could catch it, she could treat it again, and rewash, with much more chance for success.

6.  All the Rest of a Mother’s Cares!

“Give it Three Months” was the key phrase my cousin shared with me, when my first baby arrived.  She meant that I shouldn’t expect to get anything done for three months!  Many of the things that I used to do with my time must now be shelved for a little while or delegated temporarily. This was a time for paper plates, and the easiest of meals.  And wonderful offers of meals brought in or play dates for the other kids.  My job right now was to simply enjoy this baby and to recuperate!  

Of course, there is hubby to look after and later on, there would be other kids too.  But I could try to simplify other duties, in order to enjoy my new baby.  Everything else that can wait, must simply wait!   I’ve got to coo and sing to and hold my baby!!

“Song for a Fifth Child”
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
http://manysparrows.me/im-rocking-my-baby-babies-dont-keep/

My oldest daughter just had a new baby.  What a beautiful boy, and what a choice time for them.  It is my hope that she and all new moms can find ways to keep the opposition minimal and thus, spend the time enjoying this precious baby. 

I would love to hear your experiences and comments below!

See also:  Attachment Posts; Preventing ADHD post; Nursing post

Next time:  Newborn Sibling issues!

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