The Right Amount of Freedom
Boundaries: A Turtle Adventure
So, we have two little desert turtles, we call Crush and Speed. Originally, they lived in an aquarium on top of the bookshelf. They had plenty of lettuce and each other for company, but it just didn’t seem like they were growing at all. So, one day we got the notion to turn them loose in the planter outside, to see if more sun helped them to thrive.
We deposited them below the large tree to the West of our house, and watched what they would do. Crush stayed put! He would burrow down in the leaves a little, but keep to that spot! Speed, on the other hand, immediately took off! In fact, very soon, we lost track of him. Crush could always be located somewhere near his spot, but we didn’t know where Speed was! The row of spiky aloe vera next to the tree had been no setback!
Then one day, as I was walking over the berm and the curb to the next door neighbor’s, the thought occurred to me to warn Pamela about the turtles, one being lost at present. No, I decided, it could never come this far. Pamela had come out of her front door and met me halfway across her sidewalk with the pan I had wanted to borrow, when I happened to look down. There at our feet was a turtle! Speed was found! We both marveled at how Speed could have come that far around those barriers! When I put Speed back under the tree with Crush, he didn’t pause for a second, but took off again toward the East immediately!
Several days later, Mark found Speed in the driveway. Fearful of running over the little turtle, he took him to the backyard to a nice spot near the grapevines. But a couple of days later, we realized that irrigation would prove a possibly deadly consequence for this location. We offered the grandchildren a surprise if they could find Speed, to no avail. Several days went by, and irrigation would be coming before long, so I offered a prayer, asking that we find Speed, to save him from drowning. Shortly thereafter, our dog Junie was barking intensely at something, and fiercely trying to claw away at wood barrier on the dog fence. Mark went to check it out, and found Speed! It was Speed that was the cause of all that commotion! How had Speed gotten there?! When Mark picked up the turtle, we were both horrified at its appearance. We had seen the turtles back into their shells before, but this time, Speed looked mauled. It seemed that parts of his appendages may have been eaten off, and there was absolutely no head to be seen anywhere. One appendage moved, but was that just twitching? Was Speed even alive? Could a turtle live without a head?!!
I then got the notion to block off the brick flower planter in the front yard with a long piece of wood, right where the bricks stair-step down. Big rocks held the wood in place. This provided a sizable blocked-off area from the big tree across the row of bushes all along one side of the house. It was here, under a rosebush that we placed Speed. For the next several days, I searched under it and the nearby bougainvillea bushes, hoping to see the little turtle. I heard a rustling sound once, but that was it. No sign of the turtle. I guessed that if he were still alive, he was so unusually sedentary due to recuperating from the bad shock. Days went by with no sign of Speed.
Then one day, I turned to prayer again. “Please let me just see this turtle again,” I asked, “I just want to see if Speed is okay after the dog incident. “ That very day, I walked up to the bush and there Speed was in full view, with all appendages complete and working fine, and with a full head with eyes peering directly at me. The next time I went out, to check, Speed was in full view again, only from under a different bush! I was so grateful. The encounter assured me that Speed was alive, complete, and could move. I wondered if he would be more cautious than before, but was grateful that there was still some room outdoors to roam a bit! What a loving Father in Heaven who not only cares for the creatures, but allows those of us who care about them to have reassurances when we need them!
The other turtle Crush has actually starting to roam a little. He left the tree and went to explore the bushes. He seems to be growing a little as well. Both turtles are safe and happy in their yard, secure in their boundaries.
I learned quite a bit from this adventure, not just about turtles but about parenting too:
1. Too tight of boundaries (i.e. the turtles aquarium) may provide for needs but do not allow growth.
2. No boundaries brings danger, severe consequences, and trauma.
3. Boundaries with just the right amount of room provide security and safety along with adventure and growth.
4. Heavenly Father always knows just where His creations are, even the sparrows and the turtles!
5. He will answer prayers about how to connect with our loved ones.
6. Each child has her own timing. Given the right amount of freedom, each will blossom and be ready to explore at the right time for her.
I would love your comments below.
Readers—I need more time to work on my promised post about training up a child. But my daughter arrives home from her mission this week, and then we take off for a family reunion. I am unable to post for at least three weeks. Thanks for understanding, and have a happy July!
Labels: Article--Boundaries: A Turtle Adventure, Children--Boundaries
