Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: “Tell Me A (Family) Story!”

Mother’s Day was approaching, and I knew just what I wanted! My kids were scattered--some at home, but some in college, two on a mission, some married and moved away. I knew they would want to give me something, but that budgets were tight and time was scarce. So I sent an email: “For Mothers’ Day this year, would you send me a Family Story? It could be a memory of something funny that happened, or a time when we felt the Spirit. I would especially like the Miracles that have happened in your life. I would so love it if you’d write your story down and send it to me!"

That Mother’s Day was heavenly. Mark had each of the kids still at home write down something, and he wrote what the youngest ones dictated. I ended up with a collection of Family Stories—the start of a Family Book I began compiling. What a choice book it has become—a record of our family. It is a go-to for talks or lessons about a certain principle. It is a treasure, which draws us close as a family. And it is a reminder of who we really are.

1. Small Plates—Nephi made two sets of plates to record his family stories. The smaller plates, rather than containing the history, contained the sacred experiences of his family. He left the daily details off, and included the Lord’s dealings with them, and His tender mercies. So we call our Family Stories, our “Small Plates of Ellingson.” They are a place to record all the Lord’s many kindnesses and miracles to our family. We also include interesting or funny stories as well, but focus primarily on the special things that happen. In fact, when we watch for them, we find more and more family miracles.

One day, Elder Henry B. Eyring was touched by some special service his Father-in-Law gave his family. “I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: ‘I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.’

“I went inside.” He goes on, “I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family.” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng

2. Collecting Stories

Multiple Authors. It's fun to have many different writers in our family book! Most of the entries in our Small Plates are written by me, but whenever someone has submitted one, the author’s name is under the title. Whenever I add any story, I add it to the Index at the front along with the author who wrote it.

Birthdays, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Christmas. Any occasion that usually comes with a gift is a good time to collect stories! I try to give my family members a little advance notice, to put together a story. Sunday is a great day to type up an incident that is special to that family member, to include.

Missionary Stories. When we have a son or daughter return from a mission, we request that they write down several stories from their mission. Often, I can get a copy of their homecoming talk, and excerpt the stories they tell in it. One Mission President requested that I send Family Missionary Stories to my missionary in the field, and they were easy to pull from the Small Plates.

Ancestor Stories. After our Family Stories, I include a section of Ancestor Stories. I collect them from journals or books or family blogs. Pioneer stories, conversion stories, hardships and trial, sacrifice, even day to day life--these are invaluable to have, to give a child a sense of gratitude for those who came before.

Memories. Some years, on a family members’ birthday, I have requested that everyone send a favorite memory of that person. What an uplift to hear favorable impressions, compliments, and happy memories with him or her.

Miracles. Sometimes a family member will write down a special thing and send it to me for The Small Plates. But most often, I initiate it: I hear of a family member’s miracle. I write it down from my point of view, and then send it to them for verification and approval. If they are ok with it, I add it to our Small Plates. I assure them that if they would rather rewrite it from their point of view, that would be fine!

Other items. Sometimes, I include a certain essay a child has written about our family or a talk someone has given, such as a son’s description of the time he hiked Weaver’s needle with Dad. I love including funny incidents, such as the time I super glued my fingers together.

3. Sharing the Family Stories

At one point I found a sale on copies, so decided to copy our Small Plates for each person. However, I discovered that it is a work in progress. I decided to make one hard copy, and share the rest of the stories via Email. Each Thursday, I sent everybody the next story in our Family book. As new stories are added, I will send those too. That way, I can edit and correct and add and rearrange as needed.

When a child is up at night with sickness, bad dream, or recovery from whatever trauma in her life, what calms down mine the best is Family Stories. I read or tell stories from her past or mine, or farther back, and my child is filled with security and peace. Hearing about the Lord’s hand in our lives gives her strength and faith that He will bless us again.

4. Examples from our Ellingson Small Plates:

It was a late Saturday afternoon when our little family set out for Tempe High to launch our new rocket! We were so excited to show our little kids the wonders of rockets, shooting up so high and coming back down with a parachute. Our seven kids then ranged from baby-9 years.

Everything was set out in the field for our first launch at last. Excited, we had loaded in our new rocket the strongest rocket engine and started the countdown: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0, BLAST OFF! That rocket immediately took off so fast—it was quickly out of sight! It must have come down, but we hardly knew where! Our first launch and our rocket was lost!! We began a search. It was gradually getting dark, so we all searched quickly and thoroughly everywhere we could think of. As time went by and it was getting dark, I remember gathering the little kids and having a prayer to help us find it. Then it got too dark and we reluctantly started for home, sad to leave our rocket behind somewhere.

The next day was Sunday, and we went to Tempe again, this time to visit Grandparents. We were sorely tempted to just stop by Tempe High and look again for our rocket, this time in full light. No, we decided, it would be breaking the Sabbath. So we once again headed for home.

That night, it stormed and I remember thinking of our rocket as I heard the fierce winds. Oh no! What would happen to it in this weather?

Monday night, right after dad’s work, we once again drove to Tempe High. This time, it didn’t take too long and there was the rocket: under a large tree in a corridor between buildings, where we had looked many times! We inserted a not-so-powerful engine this time, and shot off the rocket for several good launches, and had the fun family time we’d hoped for before.

As we looked back at the whole incident, we realized: It was probably that storm on Sunday night that blew our rocket out of that tree. If we’d have gone looking that day, Sunday, we’d have not seen it. We are certain that it was a blessing for our obedience in keeping the Sabbath, that our rocket was knocked down for us. More than our rocket, we were grateful for the lesson that it taught our family.

One morning, as I was getting ready for another typical missionary day, I emerged from the bathroom with bare feet, in search of my shoes. I soon found the footwear sitting neatly on my chair, gleaming from the shine of a freshly-applied layer of polish. My companion had "secretly" shined my shoes! Elder Martin's simple--yet deliberate--act of service touched me. I knew that nothing compelled him to serve me like as a favor or for a peace offering. Moreover I couldn't recall ever really going out of my way to serve him. At least I hadn't shined his shoes. What Elder Martin taught me that day was the joy of good, old-fashioned, genuine service--the kind that you do just for the sake of being kind.

Needless to say, from that day, I tried to make a point of shining my companions' shoes. Through experience, I soon learned for a fact that it is very difficult to dislike someone while shining their shoes. Actually, quite the contrary, the act of smoothing out the scuffs seemed to equally sharpen my perception of my companion's good character and attributes. So, if I was ever tempted to feel any ill will toward a companion, it wasn't long before I turned to the trusty shoe shine for help.

It's no wonder to me that the Master took time to clean his disciples' feet. I'm so thankful for my companion who chose to follow Christ's example by cleaning my shoes.

A Piece of Pie

We had fun making pies for Thanksgiving that year of 2007 or 8 (though it was harder without Melanie, our expert, here). Several got very creative with their crust, including JC. He was the last to put in filling, and he decided to do an Everything Pie. It included pumpkin, lemon, pears, cherries, and applesauce. His was one that got baked, but not taken to Granddad’s and Grandmother’s church for Thanksgiving dinner. By the time we got to eat it, M had returned to BYU. We had cut an extra piece for him, and felt bad he couldn’t taste it. It was surprisingly good tasting (besides being JC’s work of art)!

So I got the notion of mailing him a piece of pie. M likes pranks and he would get a kick out of it! I packaged his pie up in a baggie, and mailed it in a mailer. Mail to Provo is notoriously slow, and by the time he got it, it must have been almost two weeks after Thanksgiving. “Did you get your pie?” I asked. “Yes,” he replied, “It was quite a surprise; I never expected to get a piece of pie in the mail. It was yummy!” “YOU ATE IT??” I asked. I never expected him to actually eat it! Must be a starving college student!

After the Easter Pageant we all got in the car to head home (D, T, R and I). We needed to turn around so D drove into a driveway and started to reverse when two little boys darted behind our car. We were so close to hitting them! Yikes! When T and R realized they boys were safe they quickly, and eagerly suggested that we offer a prayer of thanks for not hitting the boys. R offered a very sincere prayer thanking our Heavenly Father for the boys' safety. I was touched by their quick reaction to offer thanks. I truly learned a valuable lesson from them that night.

Albert Einstein said “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining Anonymous.” One way of keeping God from being anonymous in our lives is to recognize His hand and count our blessings. A fabulous way to do this is to write down our family stories. These give Him credit for all the good that happens!