“Mommy, Why do I have
to?”
Do you know a child who loves to ask “Why?” “Why do we go to church?” “Why do we say prayers?” “Why do we make our beds? They’ll just get slept in again!”
We might eventually resort to, “Because I said so!” as an
answer. But there’s a better one! Dallin H. Oaks, in his talk entitled “Why Do
We Serve?” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1984/10/why-do-we-serve?lang=eng gives us better and better reasons to do good
things, then the best one. In ascending
order, he gives lesser then higher motivation for doing good things:
1. Earthly
reward. This is doing good for a treat!
2. Good
Companionship. This is doing good
because of the people who will notice or those you get to be around while doing
it.
3. Fear of
Punishment. For example, “I might get in
trouble if I don’t!”
4. A Sense of
Duty. In other words, “I really should
do this.”
5. Hope of Eternal
Reward. This is doing good because of
one’s desire to get to heaven someday.
6. The Pure Love of
Christ. That is, we serve because we
Love the Lord.
Doing good for any reason is good! Even the one who comes to the service project
for the refreshments does come! But we
can gradually train our kids to do good for better and better reasons. We can guide their motivation.
If a child asks, “Why do I have to go to school?” We can answer, “Because we love the Lord, and
He has given us our wonderful brains, and He would want us to learn all we can
with them.”
If a child asks, “Why do I have to practice the piano?” “Because we love the Lord, and He gave us our
talents to use and to serve in His kingdom.”
If a child asks, “Why do I have to do my chores?” “Because we love the Lord! He gave us families and He expects us to do
our part in our families.”
If a child asks, “Why do I have to be nice to that boy who
is mean?” “Because we love the
Lord! He made that boy and loves him
too, and he asks us to “love our enemies,” and to “do good to them that hate
you.” (Matthew 5:44)
Miranda taught a family night lesson using this talk by
Dallin H. Oaks. She listed all the
reasons for doing good, and talked about each one, for example, that the first
two are selfish, the second two are a little better, but the very best one is
the last. She taught her kids that the
best reason to do anything good, is because we Love the Lord! “Let’s try it!” she challenged them, and together, they
brought up things they do, and they talked through together how that thing
could be done because we love the Lord!
It was a fun challenge, and a good concept to think about, and to try to
apply.
Changing our motivation for why we do things changes our
very character. “The Lord requireth the
heart and a willing mind.” Doctrine & Covenants 64:24. Not only should we be willing to do good, we
need to make sure our hearts is in the right place as we do good. The Savior said to those who reminded Him of
the many good things they had done: Ye
never knew me. See Matthew 7:22, 23 (one
translation of the passage “I never knew you.”)
These people did their good works to serve their own purposes and
ego. If our motivations become more God-like,
however, we will know Him better, and be more like Him. It’s something family members can help each
other to do!
Labels: Children--Why they do things; Children--Motivations
