Ideas For My Pocket: a Support Group for Families: Scold Me Not! CONTINUED

Success at last! It’s been over two months since I started my determination to have a scold-free morning with a strong-willed child at my house! I set up a chart, and the plan was to have IT be the only reminder/nag about expectations for morning at our house. See: http://ideasformypocket.blogspot.com/2015/08/scold-me-not.html

Well, for two months next to nothing happened! Rather than earn a bought lunch, he either paid for his own or went without one! As for the before school chores and things, he just didn’t do them! (before school, that is)

1. Stuck to my plan. I continued to put up a chart—a new one for September and October. If he didn’t do his practicing and chores before school, and knock down the homework, I then required them after school each day before he could play.

2. Refused to scold. If he chose to be late, that was his choice. I was not going to manage him nor get upset. So in the mornings, I worked to stay busy and cheerful!

Well, this very week, it was as if he discovered for himself that he could get those things done before school and have more free time after! He has done them all and marked the chart FOUR DAYS IN A ROW! He wants the reward, and decided it was worth it to do the requirements! If Mom was not going to force this issue nor manage his morning, he could decide for himself! It’s been sweet!! And he is happy about his plan to get a lot done and be ready on time!

When a child—especially a strong-willed child—makes the choice to do something good on his own, it is always better than when he is convinced to make a choice. It just took time. I had to be consistent and patient! And now, I can pour on the Praise for his great choices!

We’ll see how long this lasts. I may have to change it up and come up with a different plan later on. But for now, I am loving my Scold-Free Mornings! They are worth the wait!

As for the Daddy Report, I had to work on that a little too. At parent teacher conferences, one particular teacher was quite negative. I know what a great child I have (and all previous teachers have agreed with me), but this time by the end of the conference, there had not one good thing been said about him! I had to ask: “I need a couple of complements to take home to Dad.” Whereupon she did have some good things to say: that he is very enthusiastic and an excellent reader.

Teachers are over-worked and over-loaded with so many kids per classroom—they have a lot of pressure to get all the students to pass the new state tests. Therefore, it is my job to help them see the positive in my son. And it is my job to guard my little one’s self-esteem. I am actually glad that this teacher expects a lot of him, and I’m sure he will rise to the challenge (with my help).

But in the meantime, I intend to tell him what a great person he is! And to have Dad tell him too. Maybe with the combination of letting up on the scolding, helping with his math facts and spelling, and showering him with complements and love, we’ll meet these goals!